Thursday, August 09, 2007

Just to end the week with a smile...

one of the funniest things that's hit my inbox in a while! This came from a teacher friend; I'm not sure where she found it...I blanked the state name...

These are real excuse notes written by parents in a ********* school
district. Spelling and punctuation were left intact.

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31, 32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

7. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

8. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

9. Please excuse ray friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

10. Please excuse pedro from being absent yesterday. He had diahre dyrea direathe the sh**s.

11. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

12. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

13. I kept billie home because she had to go christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.

14. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.

15. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her
funeral.

16. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

17. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

18. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

19. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

20. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat, her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.



Little sister's birthday is Saturday, and hopefully Sunday Dottie and I are going to slip out early and see Jason Bourne; may the weekend be kind to each of you!

alan

12 comments:

puhpaul said...

Thanks for the smile Alan, we have these posted up in our photocopy room at school too.
Have a great weekend, I just watched The Bourne Ultimatum today. It's well worth the money to see.

paul

alan said...

I hear things all the time at work or on television that absolutely "jar" me at how wrong they sound; somewhere all the copy editors that ever worked are turning over in their graves!

Not having truly studied, if I really "knew English" I wonder how many more there are!

My "favorite" made me crazy for years before one of the local stations finally retired it:

"The following was pre-recorded earlier for re-broadcast at this time"!

:o)

alan

JLee said...

Those are hysterical! I hate when I'm "adminstrating" haha

ZBTzahBTzoo said...

Number 14 is the most likely excuse at my house. At least this week, anyway -- it's been a week of Mondays!

Thanks for the chuckles, Alan.

robin andrea said...

I think all of these notes were written by our President.

HAR said...

14. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.

I LOVE this one too!

Green tea said...

Hope you enjoy the movie,
My older Bro was very disappointed.
He preferred the first two.
He thought they ruined the story
to give it more action, kind of
Ang Lee style, which he doesn't like.
I'll wait for the video..
We had a break in the heat today..so I am going to take my book and go hit the deck..Have a good Sunday..

b o o said...

i saw gwen stefani in concert *superb* i wanna see bourne ultimatum too :o) hope your weekend was nice hugss

dragonflyfilly said...

HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH HAH, this list of "excused" totally cracked me up, i could not decide between "adminstering", gramps, the marines, not to mention The Sunday paper, which is the funniest!

Thanks, i sure needed a good laugh.

cheers for now,
pj

Von Krankipantzen said...

Oh lord. That is funny. And scary.

CrackerLilo said...

This is hilarious! I could fake better for myself when I was in fifth grade! :-D

Hope your day's a good one.

Oh, and thanks for telling me more about PJ Jones!

Lori said...

Amazing! It's enough to make a teacher cringe with all those grammatical errors. But...wow, that's funny!